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We Need More Napkins

I eat, drink, cook and pour gnarly things, then share with the world.

By Justin Ludwig.

If you’re in Mormon country and you’re looking to get your entire daily caloric intake in one saturated fat-laden shot, go to the Bayleaf Cafe for breakfast. As a reader of this blog, you might think that gut-busters are the Modus Operandi of your humble narrator; not so, necessarily. This particular morning we were looking for a Starbucks downtown so we could start the day we start every day, with yogurt, oatmeal, and fruit smoothies laced with mega green powder. None could be found, so we followed a breakfast tip to the Bayleaf Cafe, right in the heart of downtown, not far from Temple Square. It sounded remotely healthy, what with the “leaf” in the name…

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Upon approaching the entrance we knew we weren’t in for a fresh start, with glowing neon signs boasting about the deep South comfort food that the cafe/bar was famous for. The “Second Coming” was recommended, and I ran with it: two buttermilk pancakes topped with fried eggs, cheese and bacon, slathered in white sausage gravy. Go big or go home, right?

I got about 2/3 of the way through it before it felt like someone dropped a medicine ball on my stomach. The first few bites were really tasty in that ultra-indulgent, guilty sort of way, but by the time I waved my white flag the big fatty mess was a noxious sight. About four hours later I was attacked by some crushing belly rumbles unlike anything I’ve felt since I got a parasite in Mexico, and I spent an inconveniencing amount of time on the toilet, well into the evening. It’s very rare that you look back at a breakfast and say “I should have had the chicken and waffles, that would have been the lighter choice.” You’ve been warned.

Bayleaf Cafe on Urbanspoon

2 years ago